For Cathy (to know more about Cathy read the blog ‘How to recover from emotional pain and find happiness?` (https://drcrain.wordpress.com/2010/01/29/how-to-recover-from-emotional-pain-and-find-happiness/) the moment of clarity that her response belonged to her came when she realized that despite all the efforts, her marriage won’t work. So she made use of the ‘choice’ option and decided to move on in life. In fact, quite like Cathy, each one of us always get that one moment of clarity, when our life is almost on the edge, and we are on the verge of hurtling downwards in the self-imposed emotional, mental and spiritual gloom or have the opportunity to take a new path.
Experience has taught me that emotional overload can lead to a feeling of hopelessness. You may feel so grateful for a wonderful husband/wife, well-settled kids and financial security, yet the voice deep within may keep you from moving forward. This is when you need to take charge of your life and try a different road. The seven simple steps that can get your life in order is a navigation system to help guide you on this journey.
Get your life in order
‘Allow yourself to dream and plan’ is the first one, to help you respond and take a new road. Patty, a special education teacher in her mid-forties had it all-her children were honor students, she had a loving husband, healthy parents, yet she was deeply unhappy because somewhere in an urge to provide the best to her family she had ignored her own needs and wants. She had reached a stage when compromising her needs became a way of life for her and even buying anything for herself made her feel guilty. So, when I asked her to dream her shopping wish-list she just couldn’t think of anything for herself. Gradually, she identified how much she did long to get back in shape, but was afraid to spend any time and money on herself, and how in an effort to give it all to everyone else, she had denied herself in so many ways.
When she then agreed to write it down she unknowingly crossed the second step of making her life better by gaining a clear vision. So, now what hung in a metallic frame on her refrigerator was a roadmap for her future that talked about yoga lessons, lunch dates with friends, sharing the housework responsibilities, and getting back into shape.
Unconsciously in this list Patty had given high priority to ‘soul nourishing’ the third simple step towards improving your life. Her inner promptings was reminding her that she needed some self care. But like many of us, the list did hang unnoticed for quite some time till she came across a flyer offering yoga classes for only fifty dollars. She now had the opportunity before her. This commitment of her time required that she make a list of household chores, requesting each member of the family to volunteer and pitch in. Patty enjoyed the class and what her family has got in return is a relaxed, satisfied and much happier Patty.
I meet a lot many people like Patty in my life. They put themselves last on their list. The fourth step requires ‘a clear and specific shopping list’ to feel alive. For Patti, Yoga, exercise, delegating responsibilities and socializing were on her list to achieve a balance.
Patti practiced her Yoga every morning for fifteen minutes and continued to go to class. She ‘updated this list regularly’ on her birthday every year as her needs and wants change with circumstances.
However, one thing that never changes in any milieu is the need to ‘reflect your authentic self’ in every shopping list and the ultimate act of ‘rewarding yourself’ when ever any milestone is attained. These seven steps are a guide on our life journey. The direction we take is up to us. Using these steps as a navigational tool allows us to have a far more fulfilling life, not just for us, but also for the people we love and care about.
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“If you want an egg roll, get out of the pizzeria”
Change Your Life with Dr. Janet Crain 