If we are too busy or too distracted to take a water break or notice fatigue, we inadvertently put ourselves at risk for greater health concerns later.  The task of remaining hydrated is made more complicated by all the options available today: mineral water, seltzer water, vitamin water, water with added electrolytes and salt, bottled water, and now the newest hype, coconut water.  Staying hydrated is one of the easiest ways to keep our bodies healthy.  But with the bombardment of choice it is often difficult to know how to achieve our goal.

At the same time that our bodies try to communicate what they need, sometimes they crave immediate gratification.  Coffee, tea, soda, or alcohol (all dehydrating beverages) can be very appealing yet depleting in the long run.  The key to success is creating hydrating habits.

Regrettably, the science of our emotional hydration does not prescribe to such a specific formula.  Even when we know what we want and need (which is a tough feat all in itself), we are always seeking ways to find greater fulfillment and emotional satisfaction.  The quest is ongoing, and it drives our very existence and survival.

Emotional well-being begins with listening to your body when it is trying to communicate its emotional needs.  Do not ignore subtle signs of emotional distress such as muscle tension in your back or tightness in your neck.  Instead, changing your posture will allow you to break a dehydrating cycle.  You can begin by putting your lips together, teeth apart, jaw slightly forward, and shoulders back and down.  When you take a full breath with good oral posture, you can emotionally hydrate most effectively.

Ultimately, in our search to fuel our bodies and our souls, we need to ensure that we place our attention on developing healthy habits by consuming enough fluid, nourishing our passions, validating our emotions, and seeking support networks. May we always maintain this important component and quench our thirst.

My filter was clogged and I needed to replace it as I would an air filter in my home or a Brita filter in my fridge. Unfortunately, thought filters are not on sale this week.  I needed to refresh my filter myself in order to promote my happiness not impede it.  As a hypnotherapist I strive to find new ways to focus attention on acceptable ideas and new behaviors.  While both may be accomplished with the help of a pendulum or repeated phrases, lately, it has been my watch.

I decided to switch my watch from my right wrist to my left wrist and found the adjustment to be extremely disorienting. Each time I found myself glimpsing at my empty right wrist, rapidly and habitually (just like my thoughts), I was reminded that I have switched gears to manual. Without being on autopilot, my bare wrist assured me that another option was available.

Attempting to generate a new thought, I would take a deep breath, straighten my posture, and allow a new idea to take form that supported my current goals.  When old thoughts popped into my head, I followed the same suit – taking a deep breath, standing tall, and allowing my bare wrist to remind me I have chosen a different direction.

For now, my watch is providing me a cue to consciously manage my thought filter.

Then, as to be expected, I will need to evaluate my filter again in a few months.  The process is ongoing and I am always in charge of maintenance.  For now, I will be looking to my left wrist for the time.

I now love my new home and community but, like most changes, I found that making a significant commitment to something different was scary. I remembered that even when I bought my first home thirty years ago, I experienced what I call an APE (After Purchase Emotion). Change is hard for all of us, and I’ve learned I need to be patient with myself until I adjust to it.

A new home is a major purchase but emotions after the purchase (or buyer’s remorse) apply to many types of new acquisitions big and small. It can apply to the expensive shoes that you had to have, the fur coat, the new exercise machine, the latest gadget, or the adorable puppy that at the time of purchase, you couldn’t live without.

Before you make your purchases you have all kinds of options – including whether or not to actually buy an item. Once you’ve paid for it and used it, your options become more limited. Now that you own it, you are responsible for it, and you have committed yourself.  The adjustment period begins.

You may think you paid too much, got the wrong product, or purchased something that you didn’t need when in reality you just need to adjust to the change. These emotions can apply to relationships as well. Once the honeymoon period is over and the reality of the relationship sets in, the emotions of “buyer’s remorse” can become distressing.

Just what is this thing that I call “Relationship Buyer’s Remorse?

It’s when you become aware that things aren’t as good as they looked while you were on the honeymoon.  It’s when the realization hits you that there is no immediate “return policy” in this store.  While it’s not impossible to get out of a relationship, it’s never as easy as returning the coffee pot you decide you really don’t want.

The first thing you need to do is to remember that there is an adjustment period in all relationships. Ask yourself, “Why did I choose to engage in this relationship”?  Write down the qualities you like about this person and try to keep your focus on the bigger picture.

Grace worked out at the gym three days a week. While at the gym, she met David.  He asked her out on a date, and they began to see each other every day.  At first, they loved spending time all their time together.. However, almost as soon as they married, David began to change.  He was more moody than Grace had ever noticed before, and he didn’t want to work out at the gym anymore with her.  After a while, she realized that he was very possessive and didn’t want other men looking at her while she worked out – in fact, he didn’t want other men interacting with her at all.   Buyer’s Remorse hit Grace like a brick.

A few months after they were married, she sat down and wrote all the reasons she was first attracted to Dave. She wrote down such traits as his kindness, his gentle demeanor, his penchant for togetherness and companionship, as well as his wonderful sense of humor.  After assessing her goals at the time of entering the relationship with Dave, Grace realized that she needed to open up the lines of communications with Dave to discuss his trust issues and figure out a way for both of them to be comfortable in the relationship.

By simply stepping back and assessing your situation, you can gauge where your relationship stands and whether the needs you originally thought were being met are still being met in the present day.  If they are, then you may be experiencing a simple case of transition adjustment; go out for dinner and open the lines of communication.  But if you find that your needs are not being met as you first thought they were and they are irreparable, it’s time to pick up your hand bag, end the relationship, and start identifying what you really need. You can use your “shopping skills” to find a partner who will provide you with what you what in a relationship.

Thought Compass.

Thoughts are the beginning of all actions.  Your thoughts and decisions are based on many factors including emotions and past experiences.  Thoughts enter your mind automatically and the most pressing desire usually directs your behavior.  Sometimes it seems your thoughts are leading you away from your goal or taking you around in circles. Now, imagine taking back control of where you are heading and shifting your direction easily towards the destination of your choice.  Yes, you can manage your thoughts and feelings.  On top of that, you can respond differently to old thoughts. A new response sets up a new line of thinking that will redirect you to entirely different behaviors  

Just like a regular compass identifies four directions, North, South, East, or West, a Thought Compass identifies the direction where a thought pattern is heading.  Think of a time you needed to lose five pounds in a week to fit into a special dress. Your inner voice keeps telling you to forget it because you can’t do it. Using this concept you would identify that statement as Negative. It is not helping you lose the weight. To get to your goal you need to balance that negative thought with a Nurturing thought. I am going to walk more and watch what I eat, and I am confident I lose the weight and will fit into the dress. The second thought helps you stay on track as your move towards your destination. 

“N” can be the direction of Negativity:
When we allow our self-talk to derail our thinking, it is time to ask ourself a question that will promote a nurturing response. This  thought will help you redirect your action in the direction of your goal. For example, if you are applying for a new job and your mind is filled with thoughts such as, “The economy is bad, I will never get hired.”, ”I don’t have the skills that are needed”, or “I’ve been out of the workforce for too long to compete”, ask yourself, “what is can I offer this company?”  Then create a positive and nurturing which can be similar to, ”I am a very efficient employee. I am honest and a quick learner.” or “My life experiences help me to make good decisions as way to get back on track.”   This nurturing thoughts will help you to rid yourself of the negativity. 

“W” can be the direction of Worry:
Usually when you are worried about someone or something, it is in the future. When you care about the outcome you can get derailed with all the possibilities of things going wrong.  You need to redirect that thinking with Worthwhile present moment thoughts.  For example, “Though I am concerned about my health, I feel great at the moment!” or “ My son is late coming home, in this moment I am sure he is safe or I would have heard otherwise.”

“E” is the direction for Excuses:
By not accepting responsibility for a situation, not being accountable for what is expected of you, or by shifting the blame away from yourself, you are heading in an immature direction full of great excuses.  When you embrace the responsibility, you empower yourself to act appropriately and arrive at your destination with your own resources with self-confidence.

“S” is the direction of Scared:
Fearful scary thoughts can completely consume the situation and paralyze your actions. The faster you identify this derailing turn, the easier it is to get back on track with supportive sensible thoughts.♥ Remember, self-love begins with loving thoughts. 

While you can’t control the types of thoughts that pop into your head, you CAN redirect and manage them to prevent a detour in achieving your goals.  Imagine the benefits of using four compass points (NSWE) as a navigational tool to identify and manage your thinking.  Redirecting thoughts that are Negative, Scary, Worrisome or full of Excuses onto a better path can keep you moving forward.  

In the uncertain times in which we live, it is easy to let our focus turn to negativity, worry, and fear. The economy, war, terrorism, cancer, bullying, and so many other events fill our mind with unsettling thoughts. Identifying and embracing thoughts of gratitude will nurture, support, and prevent each of us from traveling in a direction away from our happiness.

~ Dr. Crain

To help you know what your body’s really telling you each time it “needs” something, I’ve put together a list of some common food cravings, what they mean to your emotional being, and how you can satisfy those “needs” as well.  Not only that, I’ll offer some tips I have referenced from my book, If You Want an Eggroll, Get Out of the Pizzeria, to show you how you can manage the thoughts that can control your life if you don’t do something about it.

Sugar Sweetness –   When you find that your desire for sugary foods is on the rise, it may correspond with a feeling sadness.  When emotionally you are feeling sad and blue, this craving is your body’s way of signaling that you need to increase the “feel-good” hormones dopamine and serotonin.  Scientifically, this is explained by the natural rise in mood caused by sugar. So, before you reach for that donut or two or three, take a moment and acknowledge your emotion. Decide on an action that will satisfy your emotional need also.

Salty Savoriness –Stress is a part of everyone’s life.  The problem arises when the level of stress causes chemical imbalances in the body. The adrenal glands are the stress regulators of the body and produce a hormone named aldosterone which naturally maintains an optimal level of sodium. When there is too much stress, a decrease of the hormone occurs, so the cravings for salty foods intensify. So, before you reach for those french fries, take a moment and acknowledge your emotion. Plan an action that will satisfy your emotional need also.

Cravings for Crunch – When a person is feeling angry, taste isn’t the factor in food satisfaction, texture is just as significant.  Crispy, crunchy foods require chewing action that can help whittle away negative feelings. This craving signifies a physical need to handle the emotion to cope with unresolved conflicts that are causing the angry feelings. Hence, before you reach for those nuts and chips, take a moment and think about your emotion. Choose an action that will satisfy your emotional need also.

Crying Out for Creamy – Sometimes, emotional eating isn’t about the reality of the present moment, it’s about anxiety from the past or worry about the future.  When you crave creamy, cold, and sweet things, it signifies a longing for foods that contain memories. Ice cream or puddings are comfort foods that remind us of simpler happier times. Therefore, instead of reaching for that ice cream cone, take a minutes, recognize your worry and anxiety, and then focus on the present moment and count your blessings.

The number one way to manage your cravings is to be kind and take care of yourself.  In my book, I talk about a metaphoric Food Court.  Just like on a shopping trip to the mall, when you need a break and some time to rejuvenate – what do you do?  You go to the Food Court.  There you buy something to eat, sit, relax for a while, reflect on your shopping trip so far, and refresh yourself before heading back into the stores. Metaphorically speaking, by going to the “Food Court”, you will be able to give yourself the necessary tools you need to emotionally and physically recharge your battery.  In the shopping mall of life, you need to stop and take a break; it could be a good time to schedule a pedicure or lunch with your friends. 

You deserve time to replenish and re-nourish yourself. Here are some suggestions:

Nourish Your Inner Self – Take long, insightful walks and spend time reflecting by writing in a journal or composing a letter to a friend.

Exercise– Get that blood pumping!! Do 100 jumping jacks or choose a more tranquil form of exercise like Yoga or stretching.

Bring Down the Stress – Take a break, relax, meditate and breathe deeply.

Prepare Healthy Snacks –Prepare some snacks before hunger hits. Choose fruits, nuts, and yogurt to bring with you.

Engage in Social Activity – Surround yourself with friends and people who you enjoy.

Lean on a Professional Shoulder – Seek therapy for deep-seated issues that have many layers.  A licensed therapist or other expert will be able to guide you.

In my next blog post, I will share with you a way to manage the negative spiral you can travel when you don’t manage your thoughts well.  Try the above tips and come back next week for more tips for managing your life.  In the interim, good luck and remember to feed both sides of your cravings.

“Peter and Jenny have been married for 10 years. Jenny is a successful attorney at a large law firm while Peter stays at home and takes care of the kids since he was disabled at work a year ago. Since Peter has been out of work he tries to dominate Jenny on every front and monitors everything that Jenny does. He complains when she has to go on a business trip and that she doesn’t have enough time for the children, even though it is her paycheck that pays the bills. Peter bosses her around, humiliates her in front of friends, and does not respect her opinion. Jenny, on the other hand, is very strong at work but does not stand up for herself against Peter. Their relationship is in turmoil. But, can it be saved?”

Currently, both Peter and Jenny are not getting their needs met. In every relationship each person has expectations of what the relationship can offer. The collapse comes about when the communication is poor and personal expectations are not fulfilled. Good communication is like a game of catch. You throw the ball to the person and they catch it and throw it back. If one person throws it too high, too low, too hard, or does not throw it at all, the game cannot continue. At this point in the relationship the ball is just being dropped by Jenny because she feels unable to communicate with Peter.

Although Peter does not see his role in the marital problem and blames it all on Jenny, he has agreed to work on his marriage because he comes from a divorced family and does not want that for his children.

There are so many strong negative emotions blocking good communication between them that it is time to bring in a referee. Peter and Jenny are committed to keeping their family intact and want to teach their children that respect in a family are critical. Peter and Jenny want to try and save their marriage and have agreed to having a third party intercede who can facilitate the process to open the lines of communication again.

Peter needed to find things that he could be proud of and it was suggested that he volunteer or start a hobby until he could return to work.

Jenny needs to believe in herself and gain the confidence at home she has at work. She can no longer allow Peter to verbally disrespect and insult her. As a relationship expert I suggested ways for Jenny to increase her self-assurance and take pride in her accomplishments and evaluate for herself what Peter was saying and no longer just believe the statement.

Have you faced a break down in communication?

• All conversation with your partner seems like pouring water on a duck’s back
• Your conversations tend to be circling without achieving solid results
• There is a feeling of frustration because you feel unheard
• You can’t keep yourself from becoming emotionally charged after the conversation goes on for a few minutes
• You feel you can’t directly discuss certain subjects without ending up in an argument

Let’s try to address some of breakdowns in communication.

When communication is difficult remember the game of catch. It takes two people to play. If you were playing catch and the ball was thrown too hard you would say, “I can’t catch a ball thrown like that”. The same goes for a conversation. If the words or statements are hurtful, stop the game and say without emotional charge, “Wait, that statement is preventing us from communicating. Can you rephrase it?” If the other person says no, stop the game and take a break. If you are honest and clear in your communications, just as you would be in a good game of catch, everyone will benefit and enjoy the game.

For more real life examples and stories grab my latest book:

“If you want an egg roll, get out of the pizzeria”

Shelly says “My husband and I are considered by many of our friends as a great couple… I also feel that I could not have a better husband. However, things aren’t as they used to be when we began our relationship. With passing time, I feel that something is missing.”  Shelly then asked:

“HOW DO I KEEP MY RELATIONSHIP ALIVE?” Could you help me Dr. Crain?

I agree. The spark of new romance naturally dims after you have been with your partner for a long time. Just as a spark becomes a flame in the right environment, the flame in a relationship can offer many benefits a spark can’t. The key is to maintain and embrace the flame of romance that develops over time.   The feelings that come from the excitement of a new relationship are what we are searching for in all relationships. What used to be so easy to access in the beginning needs thought as the relationship matures. While there may not be a single way of bringing back the “excitement feeling,” it is important that each one of us find our personal answer because the rewards are worth it.  Here are several useful tactics you can apply to keep your relationship alive.

Memories of the good times spent together are little treasures that we can recollect and muse upon. They enable us to remember the understanding, happiness and love that were once shared. Memories also serve to rekindle the positive energy of the moment. As time goes by, we tend to focus on the negative memories that caused an emotional reaction rather than think about the more positive happy ones. This lowers the romance you felt earlier. Whenever any negative memory becomes your main focus, just remind yourself of the wonderful moments you spent together.  It is your choice where you place your focus to keep the flame alive.

When your need to refocus try one of these ways. Write down the special moments you shared with each other and include a creative twist. You can write them on a leaf, a piece of wood, on a sea shell or even on a grain of rice. If you prefer, you can collect pictures of your best moments spent together and prepare a collage. A slide show of your best memories along with a romantic music track can recreate the magic of the moment.

‘Laughter is the best medicine’ is a clichéd saying but it holds true almost always. And, this case is no different. When you share funny experiences with your partner, you feel a sense of pleasure. When you feel happy, you get easily attracted to the people who are feeling the same and you want to participate in the fun experience. Laughter diminishes the gap between you and your partner as it brings out the humor factor both of you share. Go ahead, do something silly, and laugh out loud. Watching a humorous movie, going to an amusement park, or watching a comedy show on TV are few other ways to tickle your funny bone and rekindle your relationship.

You can engage with your partner in pursuing a new hobby, learning a new language, gardening, walking in the park, dancing, and more. You need to escape the daily rut and find out more ways of being together. In order to keep the relationship spark alive, you need to be spontaneous and make efforts that are out of the ordinary.

While the points I have provided in this article may be helpful, each couple may have their own unique way to interact with each other.  In my book entitled “If you want an egg roll, get out of the pizzeria“, I have mentioned many more ways to better understand your relationship, root out the key problems and keep the fire going forever. Visit our Facebook discussion board to find out interesting ways others suggest to keep the relationship alive. Moreover, feel free to drop in your two cents on the topic in the comments section below.

Have a nice day!

“In one cold, dismal December week, my marriage fell apart, I was fired from my job, and my car was destroyed. Any one of those events would have been stressful enough, but to have all three hit the same week devastated me. Every support system and source of security I had, or thought I had, disappeared.”

From my book: “If you want an egg roll get out of the pizzeria”

These are lines about me, which I have jotted in my book. I went through a divorce, and it seemed that nothing worse could happen; life didn’t seem nice anymore.

It’s unfortunate but sometimes life takes such a turn, that you feel all alone and don’t know where to go, and what to do. As the lines above, it was a traumatic experience for me, but I realized one thing, IT DOES NOT END HERE, LIFE DOES NOT END WITH A DIVORCE. There is still more that you can get out of life. Yes it’s true, and it happened to me. My book is not about the miseries that one goes through in the face of such a disaster, people like me who have gone through the same, have experienced such pain, that cannot be put in words. But for all those, my book is my experience with how I dealt the tide.

Your experience with a divorce can leave you emotionally unstable, so vulnerable that little things, incidents, and memories easily bring tears to your eyes or a squeeze in your throat. I am no alien to your hurt and pain, and it is only natural. Recovering from a divorce is not like snapping back from the flu and becoming hale and hearty again.

But you can’t live on like this forever; you are special, each one of you and you deserve no less than others to be happy.

So please take a deep breath, stop for a while and think how to give yourself a break to be more accepting towards the change. There is no rush; it’s not a mathematical solution, and it`s fine to take your time to heal. Why don’t you regroup with your friends and re-energize yourself. I shared my feelings with friends and close ones, and it helped me considerably. However, on the other hand please also don`t analyze too much. Try to understand and just leave it behind. Do not blame yourself. Do not put everything on your ex-husband either. Unload all the negative feelings because dwelling on them will only drain valuable energy and hinder the healing process. Remind yourself that divorce is not the end of the life. Spare some time to nurture your mind with relaxing activities. Encourage yourself with the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your bitter past.

Having gone through the agony of divorce myself, I can imagine that you might feel that all this that I am saying feels like instructions. Believe me, my book is not about instructions, it’s about dealing with human emotions.

So grab my book ‘If you want an eggroll, get out of the Pizzeria’ and learn what helped me to get back on track after the divorce and to build enjoyable and harmonious relationships.

Anthony DeMello`s thought inspired me to share my opinion on unrealistic expectations and its impact on relationships.

Our expectations act as a filter for our thoughts that dictate our behavior and develop a framework for all our relationships… We expect people  to share similar opinions, values, views and behave within the boundaries of these preset expectations. At times we falsely believe that others should feel the same emotions such as happiness, sadness, embarrassment, anger, etc that we feel when certain incidents occur in their life. We transfer our expectations to their situation, expecting them to have a reaction, which is in line with our mindset. Let`s take a look at what happens when you do a favor for your close friend? Of course, you invariably expect that person to be appreciative. When the person fails to  display the expected gratitude, or if you feel that the reaction is not as genuine as you thought it should have been, you begin to feel disappointed, restless, and sometimes even angry or upset and start to think that the person doesn`t appreciate your efforts and gestures.   You usually never show your disappointment to the  outside world , but on the inside you feel unsatisfied in the relationship. The depth of all those negative feelings depends on the level of effort and the emotional connection with the person. But no matter what the type of reaction you are having, the relationship is not fulfilling your emotional needs.

But why is it so? We all think that our view of the world is the right one. Learning to accept yourself and others is the way to start. We are all unique individuals that flourish best as we become truer to our authentic selves.

So what does setting realistic expectations mean and how can it help you to build and improve your relationships?

Having realistic expectations in relationships means to observe the persons as they are, not as you wish they were. It means trying to understand their behavior, and allow their personal thinking process control their destiny. We need to stop riding the illusionary train that only our way gets to the desired destination or goal.  Acceptance and understanding that all people are unique individuals and that their judgments and beliefs could differ from ours is crucial.  When we do that, we allow ourselves to stop pushing our demands on others, which is a healthy thing to do.

Let`s do a short exercise

For a moment, disconnect yourself from activity and take a deep breath, think about the unrealistic expectation that you have placed on another person.  Ask yourself – ‘Could you allow the other persons to be authentic to themselves without your control?  Could you refrain from placing your expectations on this situation? Could you get comfortable with the outcome even if it is different from your preset expectation?  ‘Can you visualize yourself congratulating them on the outcome, when your own feelings, beliefs, hopes, and desires for your loved ones were neglected?

Begin looking at your relationships realistically to identify the changes you need to introduce. Of course, it is natural to feel anxious and resist change when you realize that you are shifting from a familiar path. However, you must also know that when you decide to replace your expectations with a truthful unbiased evaluation of the situation, you will be able to develop a stronger more satisfying relationship.

To help you to understand my point better I would like to share with you a real life example. In one of my seminars, I met Joyce, an accountant working for a law firm. She was usually busy the entire week except for weekends. Her husband, employed as a sales manager in a pharmaceutical company, could find time only during weekends as well. On Saturday evening and Sunday morning, Joyce’s husband went to play golf without fail. It was his way of relaxing and unwinding. Joyce wanted him to stay at home during weekends so they could spend time together. When her husband invited her for golf, she rejected that solution because she didn`t like golf. Her husband wouldn’t leave playing golf despite Joyce complaining over and over again. Arguments began to crop up and the relationship began to sour.

When I first started talking to Joyce, she was angry and resentful towards her husband. Slowly, I made her realize that she needed to present a compromised solution showing she understood his requirements to refresh his mind with a golf game after a long week of hard work.  She suggested that they meet for lunch at a restaurant they both liked after he was done playing and spend a nice afternoon together.  She became comfortable suggesting solutions that fulfilled her needs also and their relationship healed steadily. With a little planning and preparation both parties can get their needs met.

When we start embracing the idea that everyone can get their needs met and show the courage to change our own behavior, we stop getting disappointed with our unmet expectations. Our relationships flower blissfully, deeply rooted in authenticity and love. To find more real life examples and techniques on improving relationships pick up my last book ‘If you want an eggroll, get out of the Pizzeria’ (available here: My Official Website).

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.”

Anthony DeMello

Start questioning!

The comments section below is all for you!

Experience has taught me that emotional overload can lead to a feeling of hopelessness.  You may feel so grateful for a wonderful husband/wife, well-settled kids and financial security, yet the voice deep within may keep you from moving forward. This is when you need to take charge of your life and try a different road.  The seven simple steps that can get your life in order is a navigation system to help guide you on this journey.

Get your life in order

‘Allow yourself to dream and plan’ is the first one, to help you respond and take a new road. Patty, a special education teacher in her mid-forties had it all-her children were honor students, she had a loving husband, healthy parents, yet she was deeply unhappy because somewhere in an urge to provide the best to her family she had ignored her own needs and wants. She had reached a stage when compromising her needs became a way of life for her and even buying anything for herself made her feel guilty. So, when I asked her to dream her shopping wish-list she just couldn’t think of anything for herself. Gradually, she identified how much she did long to get back in shape, but was afraid to spend any time and money on herself, and how in an effort to give it all to everyone else, she had denied herself in so many ways.

When she then agreed to write it down she unknowingly crossed the second step of making her life better by gaining a clear vision. So, now what hung in a metallic frame on her refrigerator was a roadmap for her future that talked about yoga lessons, lunch dates with friends, sharing the housework responsibilities, and getting back into shape.

Unconsciously in this list Patty had given high priority to ‘soul nourishing’ the third simple step towards improving your life. Her inner promptings was reminding her that she needed some self care. But like many of us, the list did hang unnoticed for quite some time till she came across a flyer offering yoga classes for only fifty dollars. She now had the opportunity before her. This commitment of her time required that she make a list of household chores, requesting each member of the family to volunteer and pitch in.  Patty enjoyed the class and what her family has got in return is a relaxed, satisfied and much happier Patty.

I meet a lot many people like Patty in my life. They put themselves last on their list. The fourth step requires ‘a clear and specific shopping list’ to feel alive. For Patti, Yoga, exercise, delegating responsibilities and socializing were on her list to achieve a balance.

Patti practiced her Yoga every morning for fifteen minutes and continued to go to class. She ‘updated this list regularly’ on her birthday every year as her needs and wants change with circumstances.

However, one thing that never changes in any milieu is the need to ‘reflect your authentic self’ in every shopping list and the ultimate act of ‘rewarding yourself’ when ever any milestone is attained. These seven steps are a guide on our life journey. The direction we take is up to us. Using these steps as a navigational tool allows us to have  a far more fulfilling life, not just for us, but also for the people we love and care about.

Visit the book`s website:

“If you want an egg roll, get out of the pizzeria”

]]> http://drcrain.wordpress.com/2010/02/08/moment-of-clarity-7-simple-steps-to-put-your-life-in-order/feed/ 0 JanetCrain "If you want an egg roll, get out of the pizzeria"